Kayise Khumalo has publicly accused acclaimed Johannesburg jazz bassist Dalisu Ndlazi of being an absent father, sharing an emotional statement in which she claims she has spent years trying to resolve the matter privately before deciding to expose what she describes as his lack of involvement in their six-year-old daughter’s life.
Ndlazi is widely respected in South Africa’s jazz fraternity. A product of the Siyakhula Community Music Centre and a former University of KwaZulu-Natal jazz student, he has built a reputation as one of the country’s finest bassists, performing on prestigious stages including Birdland in New York and the Cape Town International Jazz Festival.
But according to Khumalo, the celebrated musician’s public image is vastly different from the man she says their daughter has experienced.
In a lengthy statement addressed directly to Ndlazi, Khumalo said she had exhausted every private avenue before taking the matter public.
“I have spent years trying to keep this private. I spoke to you. I sent you emails. I reached out to your family. I asked, I pleaded, I waited. Nothing changed. Today, I am no longer protecting your silence.”
She added: “The world sees a man they admire. They speak about your kindness, your humility, and your character. I wish our daughter knew the man they speak so highly of. Because the man the world celebrates is not the father our daughter has experienced. You are alive, yet absent.”
Khumalo went on to allege that Ndlazi knows very little about their child’s day-to-day life.
“You don’t know the name of the school she attends. You don’t know her shoe size. You don’t know her clothing size. You don’t know what she loves to eat. You don’t know the little things that make her smile or the things that make her cry.”
She said the most painful part has not been raising their daughter largely on her own, but watching the child long for her father’s presence.
“What hurts me the most is not that I have had to raise her on my own. What hurts me the most is watching a little girl carry the pain of having a father who is alive, yet chooses to remain absent.”
One of the most heartbreaking moments in her statement was an account of something their daughter allegedly said during counselling.
“Our six-year-old daughter is attending counseling. During one of her sessions, she said something that shattered me as her mother: ‘Even if my dad doesn’t buy me a birthday present, I would be happy if he just called me or sent me a message.'”
Khumalo said her daughter was not asking for money or expensive gifts.
“She isn’t asking for money. She isn’t asking for expensive gifts. She isn’t asking for a perfect father. She is asking to be remembered.”
Questioning how much longer her daughter should wait, she wrote: “Tell me, what more has to happen before you realize that your daughter needs you? What more pain must a six-year-old carry before you decide to be present?”
She insisted her decision to go public was not motivated by revenge.
“I know that speaking publicly may have consequences. If that means I have to defend why I chose to speak, then I am prepared to do so. I am standing by the truth of what I have shared because this is not about revenge. It is not about hatred. It is about my daughter.”
Khumalo said years of silence had failed to protect her child and vowed to continue fighting for her daughter’s wellbeing.
“I have spent years trying to solve this privately. Today, I am choosing to speak because silence has not protected my child.”
She added: “I will do everything within my power to fight for my daughter’s wellbeing, her future, and her right to know that she is worthy of love, care, and presence.”
Ending her statement with a message to parents, Khumalo wrote: “Your children will not remember how successful you were, how talented you were, or how many people admired you. They will remember whether you showed up. They will remember whether you called. They will remember whether they felt loved.”
She concluded with a pointed message directed at Ndlazi and other absent parents: “Our children do not count our excuses, they count our presence. Before it’s too late, choose your children. They need you now, not someday.”
Ndlazi had not publicly responded to Khumalo’s allegations at the time of publication.
