As a beauty queen, Liesl Laurie Mthombni says often she portrays the good side of her life and not the imperfections. “I always take selfies when I look my best but sometimes I look like this and that’s okay. It’s also very normal to me,” Lisl says.
Today, she woke up on the down side of life. “I woke up before 6 this morning, feeling extremely overwhelmed by everything. I don’t know if it’s the last quarter of the year push or just general anxiety to “kill it” at everything,” she adds. “When watching the Barbie movie Gloria’s (America Ferrera) monologue resonated with me so much because it highlighted the impossible double standard of being a woman. We have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we’re always doing it wrong. You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin…” Liesl quotes. “You’re supposed to love being a mother, but don’t talk about your kids all the damn time… You have to answer for men’s bad behavior, which is insane, but if you point that out, you’re accused of complaining. You’re supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you’re supposed to be a part of the sisterhood. But always stand out and always be grateful. But never forget that the system is rigged. So find a way to acknowledge that but also always be grateful.”
She adds that society doesn’t not want to see people having a bad day. “You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line,” she says. “It’s too hard! It’s too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you! And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault.” She resonates with many different parts to the monologue and she’s come to accept that some days will really just give you a moerse punch in the gut. “I’ve said’ it before and I’ll say it again, I show up 100% for work, gym, family time etc, so today I’m showing up 100% to my crying session. Tomorrow? We shall see what tomorrow brings. We trust God for the joy he brings in the morning.” She says that having a husband helps, as he is able to console her on bad day.
Cece Smith 